Tom’s story: moving onwards and upwards

Tom grew up in Armidale, the second of six kids in a close-knit family. He went to O'Connor Catholic College where his dad Jon was a senior teacher. Tom always felt he was part of a big, interconnected parish community, with a big supportive network.

When he was 16, Tom's dad took him and two of his siblings for a holiday to Calgary in Canada to see family friends. Tom fell in love with the area, particularly nearby Banff with all its natural beauty and outdoor activities.

He decided he wanted to come back after school and work at the famous Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel. When he got back to Armidale, he got a job in a luxury hotel to get experience.

Gap years

On finishing his HSC, Tom took off to Canada to follow his dream. He got the job he'd wanted at the Banff hotel and stayed there 18 months before driving across Canada and then backpacking through South America.

At the time, his mum was upset with him, a typical 20-year-old who wouldn't come home for a second Christmas. But Tom had already decided to make a surprise return and arrived back on Christmas Eve 2017. On Christmas Day the whole family had a picnic at a nearby swimming hole. Afterwards Tom decided to drive back into town on his own. 

Tom turned onto the wrong side of the road, drove for a couple of kilometres, then turned a blind corner and straight into a Landcruiser. 

"My car folded in half like a tin can, my face broke the steering wheel, and I had to be cut out. There's a missing 11 months in my memory. I don't remember anything in the three months before the accident or eight months after. So, in a way, I missed all the trauma. My family, of course, had to go through it."

Tom was in a coma for a week in Newcastle's John Hunter Hospital and doctors told his family he might not survive and, if he did, he would be living with the effects of a serious brain injury. His elder sister was an intern at the hospital when he arrived.

"It was particularly hard on my elder sister who was an intern in the hospital when I arrived."

Tom admits he can be a bit brutal and insensitive in telling the story of his accident and its aftermath. He admits this is partly his way of coping, but also, they aren't actual memories—they're synthetic memories of the people around him. 

"I was four months all-up in the hospital and brain injury clinic. I had my 21st in there. From my experience, you don't get better unless you want to. You need the drive to do the physio and all the allied health stuff. Luckily, I'm young and had the tools to do that. And I think my fitness and my travelling gave me some of those tools. All the '… ists'—speechies, psychologists etc—are inspirational mentors but I reckon 50 per cent of recovery is yourself, 50 per cent your supports."

When he left John Hunter in April 2018, he had only a small scar over one eye and a scar on his knee. There are still lots of issues resulting from the brain injury – a right side weakness and limp, double vision, a lot of fatigue and short-term memory issues.

Into hospitality

Two friends, including a Canadian roommate, asked Tom to join them in a trip to New Zealand that October. He used that as a goal and kept up the physio and the exercise. Tom went to New Zealand. And although doctors had told him that he was a seizure risk, he did more than 100 kilometres of alpine hiking, sky-diving and hang-gliding. He only told his parents afterwards.

Instead of taking up a deferred place studying psychology at the University of Newcastle, Tom started a TAFE Certificate III in hospitality. He completed the Cert III and then a diploma in hospitality management. He also got a job at the Newcastle Club, a high-end club where he does bar and barista work, a la carte service and big functions.

"I didn't tell them at first about my brain injury, although my managers know about it now. Although there's nothing obvious that gives my injury away, I've got routines to deal with my memory problems, like always using a notepad, and I'm also always working on my communication behaviour. Sometimes I can speak for too long on one topic and I know it's a fine line between being too attentive or not enough."

 

"But I love it. I've been there 18 months now. It's a wonderful place to work."

 

Tom is studying to be a sommelier through the globally-recognised WSET qualification system. He's had to do some of the classes online, which he finds hard given there is no human interaction and he can't ask questions.

Goals for recovery

"Hospitality is my passion. But to go further, to go into high-end hospitality I need to have more resources, more tools. Becoming a sommelier—doing formal study in wine and wine service—is part of that." 

Late this year Tom was awarded a scholarship by TAFE to use in further study or training. He wants to use this for additional wine study, possibly in New Zealand. 

Tom sets himself lots of goals. He's sees them as important checkpoints for recovery. His family is involved in the South West Rocks Running Festival and in 2018 he ran the 5 kilometre race. The next year he increased it to 10 kilometres, and this year he did the half marathon.

"One of the ongoing physical effects of my injury was double vision which led to really bad fatigue. I had surgery about a year ago which has fixed most of it. Now I only get the double vision when I look down, and I don't get tired nearly as much.

"I don't drink alcohol now—except for wine tasting. I got frightened seeing people with dependencies, and with brain injury you are very susceptible to dependency. He still has memory issues and his behaviour has different filters from most people. One symptom is impulsivity, he sometimes says quirky things and don't always read a situation appropriately.

"But then the impulsivity sometimes works in my favour in meeting people. And also I'm now more aware of the impermanence of things—I believe you've just got to go for it."

Tom is the 2021 winner of TAFE NSW's William R Galvin Memorial Scholarship and appeared recently at Tourism Training Australia's 2022 crisis summit.

Check out the video of Tom